I Am Peter

Peter is the rock on which God built His church. But first, Peter was probably the worst disciple ever. I am Peter.

Jesus tells Peter that Peter will deny Him 3 times; Peter says, "No! I love you, I could never deny you, Lord." Yet we all know that Peter does in fact deny Jesus 3 times. I know in my heart and my soul and the core of my being that I LOVE the Lord, that I would do anything for Him, go to the ends of the earth for Him, but how often do i forget to give the Glory back to His name? How often do I take compliments without giving Him the credit, without the honor and praise back to God who has given me this work? Do I, as Peter, deny Jesus the glory that is His?

Jesus told His disciples that it was God's will for Him to be arrested. He went willingly when the soldiers came to take Him, but enthusiastic, loving Peter raised his sword and cut off a soldier's ear. I'm sure Jesus chuckled and shook His head as He put the ear right back on the man. "put your sword away," Jesus commanded, "shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?" I am Peter. I have my own time frame. When I don't see things happening, I try to make them happen. And Jesus says, "Put away your sword, put away your plans. Shall we not do what the Father has asked of us?" So like Peter, I put away my plans, my defenses, and watch as everything happens perfectly, in God's own timing.

After Jesus had risen, He appeared to His disciples while they were fishing. When Peter saw his beloved Savior, He excitedly jumped out of the boat and began swimming where Jesus stood. Needless to say, the boat probably reached the shore long before Peter. I am Peter. Excitedly jumping into things, and then standing, sopping wet, at the feet of the Lord, smiling at my stupidity. I get excited, forget to think things through, and end up doing them the long way. Every time, though, just as with Peter, Jesus welcomes my soaking wet self into His arms and is simply happy to see me.

I am Peter who made many mistakes, but I am Peter who God had great plans for, who God established to do His work. Peter is the rock on which Jesus built His church. The very night that Perter foolishly jumped out of the boat, Jesus reinstated Him in the presence of the other disciples. "Do you truly love me?" He asked. "Then feed my lambs." "Do you really love me? Take care of my lambs." "Peter, DO YOU LOVE me? Feed my sheep, and come. Come follow Me."

For each time that I deny God the Glory that is His, for each time I follow my will instead of listening to His, for each time I jump ahead without first consulting my Lord, He asks, “Daughter, do you truly love me?” and I do. “Feed my sheep.” And I will. And I do. “Come follow me.” And I am, or at least I am trying.

I am Peter. I mess up. I make mistakes, I am far from perfect, and God will use me. God will establish great things through me. You are Peter. God already knows that you will make a mess, but His plan for you is great. Go. Feed His sheep.

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy

This Is My Life

the room i'm staying in has a bucket for a shower and a net over my bed to keep the mosquitos from infecting me malaria and other diseases while i'm sleeping.

the language barrier is incredibly difficult.

the cold showers make me wish i had a warm shower, but when i step out i'm sweating.

as soon as i step outside, the wind is blowing red dirt all over me which makes it impossible not to always be filthy. 

i to walk miles upon miles to get to town everyday to do errands and eat lunch in 90 degree weather makes me wish i had my car with it's consistent air conditioning.

the shop owners in town always try to overprice me on items that i know aren't really that expensive.

when i want to go for a nice walk on my own, i'm always surrounded by hundreds of children heading home from school and sometimes the children are so dirty they actually reek.

when it rains, the muddy roads make a treacherous journey for anyone out and about and make it nearly impossible to get anywhere.

many times for meals we eat posho, which is corn-flour boiled in water until it is thick and pasty. it tastes a little worse than elmer's glue. 

joy, my waitress at the cafe, always tells me they are out of everything unless it is rice or avocado (everyday).

the painter for our house was supposed to be there to paint our house today at 9. we waited until 3 and he still never showed up which is making us push things back a day.

on my walks home, i'm hit on by crude, disgusting men, almost 20 years older than me.

on sundays we go to church out in the village and listen for four hours to words i don't even understand.

seeing sick children everywhere i go makes me want to weep because i know i can't save them all.

and to you, those sound like complaints. they are not; this is me, rejoicing in the Lord. because you see..

i love my job. i love the hot sun on my face. i love my bed, cozy under my net after a long day. i love my home sweet home, all its creatures included. i love the people that work hard to help me. i love my long walks home, day or night, rain or shine. i love the beating, cleansing african rain. i love my african meals, prepared with such love and generosity. i love to be hugged and touched and jumped on by the dirty street children. i love the cool, dusty breeze in my hair. i love every african sunrise, the cool and calm of a new morning. i love each and every day, each and every moment that i spend in this beautiful country; i rejoice in each breath that i take.

This is the life I am called to.

Of course it's ridiculously hard,
but it's so worth it.

Katie Sandy

A Calm In The Storm

Today is Monday.

Today, I woke up at 8am to the church next door praising Jesus with songs. 

Later, I made my first money exchange at the bank. Here, $1= 2,430 shillings. After my visit to the bank, I met up with a dear, sweet friend Eileen for milkshakes at a restaurant called The Source. It was chocolate and it was delicious. Partly because it was frozen-ish. 

After our shakes of deliciousness, we wandered around the local shops just poking our noses around at what they had and how much they were selling them for. Unfortunately, we left empty handed. But the time that we were able to spend together catching up and laughing was better than anything in those shops (here is my cheesy-bit for the day). I love that girl.

It started to get late, so we walked back to Josh's house together. Our scary moment for the day was when we had to walk past eight giant trucks filled with Ugandan army men. All staring at us. Eileen and I did the best we could to not make eye contact with any of them. Considering they were all slightly scary. But, we made it past. Home safe and sound.

We went inside and sat on the counter and chatted some more, snacking on watermelon and drinking cool glasses of freshly boiled water. Hey, we are girls, we love to talk!

It started to get dark and windy outside like it was about to storm. My parents were not back from being in town so it was just me, Josh, and Addy (his german shepherd dog). The wind was beating on the house with such force, I had to calm down the slamming windows and doors. We pulled everything inside and locked everything. We had to secure the only banana tree we had left because the other seven were destroyed in the last storm. 

The storm lasted a mere thirty minutes and it was finished. I'm back on my hammock now, listening to the cows next door and the horns honking up and down the street. Oh, and I got sunburnt today. Worst part is, I'm excited. I mean, did anyone from Virginia get sunburnt today? ;)

Katie Sandy

A Decade Behind

Today is Sunday.

Today, around 10am, we attended church at Arise Africa International. I was so excited to see everyone. I got to see the Vias, the Arise family I met two years ago, my dear friend Mary I met two years ago (at Arise), her new charmer, and many new faces as well. My heart was so full once I entered the room.

Even though the songs were about a decade behind the ones I was used to singing back home, it was still nice to know the words and know the rhythm. Worship was led by the Ugandan paster's two sons (ages ~11 and 15). The 11 year old sang and the 15 year old played the guitar. They have such passion for the Lord. Even when they had forgotten how the songs went, they made up their own way and joking about it after saying, "I do not think that sounded right". But hey, that's okay!

Later, we planned to go to the pool to relax, but it became dreary and not swimming weather so, I made guacamole, laid in my eno, and listened to John Mayer.

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy

Today is Saturday.

I woke up this morning at 5am due to a rooster. 

This lovely, wonderful rooster has a backstory. Somewhat. 

He's actually a gift for my friend Dacia, from my friend Josh who is housing us.

Well, the rooster is for Dacia's African father, who is giving his blessing to Josh to marry Dacia today.

This "blessing" ceremony is called an Introduction. But, for this story to make somewhat sense to you, I'm going to start over...

I woke up this morning at 5am due to a rooster. That rooster was creating so much noise, it was nearly impossible to sleep. Josh, the keeper of the house, resolved the problem fairly quickly thanks to the many rocks we have around the outside of our home. 

Once I was up, I was up. I guess it was a good thing because I could get my devotion done for the day right as the sun was rising. I feel like that is my favorite time to do my devotion. Bright and early. 

I also got to talk to many friends back home. Since it was 5 am here, it was 11pm at home and 10pm in El Salvador (for when I talk to Kaylee). So that was extremely nice to talk to them.

Later that day, around 10am, my mother and I departed the house to go pick our Gomezi's (Go-mez-ee), which is an African traditional dress for women. We needed one of these to wear to our friends' Dacia and Josh's Introduction. They both met and live here in Jinja, so they saw it right to include Africa into their marriage. An Introduction is basically the couple announcing their engagement to be married. The groom spends a ton of money on gifts to give to the father (fruits, veggies, animals) to show his love for Dacia. If the father accepts these gifts, he has then given his blessing. The whole ceremony lasts about 4-6 hours and usually starts 2-4 hours after the original set time. 

But it is indeed a fun time! The entire introduction is meant to be comical. It is meant to create a fun and friendly atmosphere to the engagement process. I got to meet many new people and reconnect with familiar faces. I even received a traditional Ugandan buffet dinner! And it was so good (well, the stuff I decided to eat)! This might have been where the rooster came into play...

Once the ceremony ended, it was already dark. My family then left and we went on our way. Oh, and if you all remember when my family tried to adopt those two children from Bukaleba a couple years ago, they were there as well! It was so nice to see them and how big they have got. 

We finished the night watching Captain Phillips and quickly went to bed shortly after. 

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy

it's thursday.

we completely skipped wednesday. 

my family and I, along with our trusty friend maegan, traveled from 9:00am on tuesday, and didn't settle down to rest until just now.

it's now five 'till one in the afternoon.

my travel experience was none-the-less miserable. of course, i tried extremely hard to avoid all sickness while i was home, only to finish packing Monday and end up the flu.

but now i stand here in awe. here i am, in africa. 

where it is already 82 degrees and I'm still wearing the same clothes since tuesday morning.

within my first two hours of arrival to the town of jinja, i got sunburnt on my forearms and  mosquito bites that cover my legs.

i'm already wanting my normal teenage life back.

but. you know what i want more? ALL the time? i want to be spiritually and emotionally filled every day of my life. i want to be loved and cuddled by snot-nosed children and never go a day without laughing. i want to wake up to a rooster, the lovable african dog outside my window, and that splendid view of the nile river from the backyard. i want to be challenged endlessly; i want to be learning and growing every minute. i want to be taught by those i teach. i want to share God's love with people who otherwise might not know it. i want to work so hard that i end every day filthy and too tired to move. i want to feel needed, important, used by the Lord. i want to make a differnce and i want to follow the calling that God has planted deep in my heart. i want to give my life away, to serve the Lord with each breath, each second. i want to be here. right here. 

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy

Sara Laufer Photography

Over the weekend, my brother married the love of his life. I was (and still am) overwhelmed with joy and, of course, my heart is full, not only by their commitment to each other but also to God! It was a beautiful wedding. Simple. Cheerful. Magical. The ideal wedding. 
But then came the question, "So Katie, you're next right?" 

Oh boy.

This question really bothers me. I am sure many of you have been asked this dreadful and awkward question many times before. I understand that I am only an eighteen year old college student and that these people asking me this don't expect me to get married next week (or in a year from now, for that matter). But I am just now noticing that while being too busy searching for that "certain someone", I haven't been living the life of a single woman that God has intended for me to live.

What exactly am I getting at here? My heart aches realising that there have been mission trips and other evangelism opportunities I have chosen not to be a part of, solely for the reason that I didn't want to be away from my boyfriend for a month or two. This is absolutely devastating to me. Not only for the reason that I have done this, but because I know that there are other people out there doing the same thing.

Lately, I've stopped finding myself, self-worth, and fulfilment in Him, only to put my life on hold for that special someone that I have never actually met. But I want to wake up every morning and be excited because I get to spend my day with the God who created the universe, not mope around because I'm not dating anyone. God promises us many wonderful things, but one thing he does not promise is that you will find a husband in college, or even a husband at all.
It pains me even more to realize that I have been pursuing God for all the wrong reasons. My pursuit of Him was in pursuit to find someone else. Maybe, subconsciously, I have had the mindset that God owes me something - like he isn't holding up his side of the deal, like He has given me the desire of a relationship and a marriage, but he isn't following through.
I've been acting like I deserve a relationship. When, in all honesty, I don't. My spiritual life is far from what it should be. My life lacks prayer and worship to the one who has put me on this earth to merely praise Him. If I don't have this as a priority in my life, how can I expect my relationship with someone to last? It cannot grow if it's lacking God. We both need to be strong in the Father to have a relationship that is able to overcome trial and tribulation.
I need to trust that God is in control of my love life. I need to stop looking forward to the future for Mr. Right and embrace what's going on in my life now. There is so much to do before I meet "the one", from self-improvement to evangelism, there are endless opportunities for single women to do God's work.
I know being single can be hard, especially when your Facebook feed looks more like a Pinterest wedding board; but trusting in God’s plan for your life will have huge benefits in the long run and will save you from needless heartbreak along the way. If you find yourself temped to go with a guy you know God wouldn’t approve of, stop and remember it isn’t worth it. Many times that temptation pulls us most when we are lonely and vulnerable (I say this from experience).
“I’d rather have the right God than the wrong man.” –- Christen Rapske

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy