Sara Laufer Photography

Over the weekend, my brother married the love of his life. I was (and still am) overwhelmed with joy and, of course, my heart is full, not only by their commitment to each other but also to God! It was a beautiful wedding. Simple. Cheerful. Magical. The ideal wedding. 
But then came the question, "So Katie, you're next right?" 

Oh boy.

This question really bothers me. I am sure many of you have been asked this dreadful and awkward question many times before. I understand that I am only an eighteen year old college student and that these people asking me this don't expect me to get married next week (or in a year from now, for that matter). But I am just now noticing that while being too busy searching for that "certain someone", I haven't been living the life of a single woman that God has intended for me to live.

What exactly am I getting at here? My heart aches realising that there have been mission trips and other evangelism opportunities I have chosen not to be a part of, solely for the reason that I didn't want to be away from my boyfriend for a month or two. This is absolutely devastating to me. Not only for the reason that I have done this, but because I know that there are other people out there doing the same thing.

Lately, I've stopped finding myself, self-worth, and fulfilment in Him, only to put my life on hold for that special someone that I have never actually met. But I want to wake up every morning and be excited because I get to spend my day with the God who created the universe, not mope around because I'm not dating anyone. God promises us many wonderful things, but one thing he does not promise is that you will find a husband in college, or even a husband at all.
It pains me even more to realize that I have been pursuing God for all the wrong reasons. My pursuit of Him was in pursuit to find someone else. Maybe, subconsciously, I have had the mindset that God owes me something - like he isn't holding up his side of the deal, like He has given me the desire of a relationship and a marriage, but he isn't following through.
I've been acting like I deserve a relationship. When, in all honesty, I don't. My spiritual life is far from what it should be. My life lacks prayer and worship to the one who has put me on this earth to merely praise Him. If I don't have this as a priority in my life, how can I expect my relationship with someone to last? It cannot grow if it's lacking God. We both need to be strong in the Father to have a relationship that is able to overcome trial and tribulation.
I need to trust that God is in control of my love life. I need to stop looking forward to the future for Mr. Right and embrace what's going on in my life now. There is so much to do before I meet "the one", from self-improvement to evangelism, there are endless opportunities for single women to do God's work.
I know being single can be hard, especially when your Facebook feed looks more like a Pinterest wedding board; but trusting in God’s plan for your life will have huge benefits in the long run and will save you from needless heartbreak along the way. If you find yourself temped to go with a guy you know God wouldn’t approve of, stop and remember it isn’t worth it. Many times that temptation pulls us most when we are lonely and vulnerable (I say this from experience).
“I’d rather have the right God than the wrong man.” –- Christen Rapske

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy

Just recently, I was asked by sweet friends to join them in their journey with Christ as a group. It is going wonderfully well and I’ve even made some new friends with the same morals and values as myself. We are studying Angela Thomas’ book, Stronger, that is about finding hope in fragile places.

My favorite thing about devotional studies and learning scripture is that God always tends to show me something new about an old story other than what I had originally thought it was about. That, or He uses scripture to speak to us even when we aren’t listening to Him in other ways. In example, today’s devotional was about loneliness. When I first saw the title I was thinking to myself, “Oh boy, this WOULD be the first devotion I read about…

Professional researchers say our culture has become the most disconnected, socially isolated, loneliest community of people ever. The reasons for our loneliness are as diverse as our personalities and journeys.  Coming out of high school, I had my two best friends go off in separate directions to different schools. My brother was getting married to the love of his life an hour away from home. My wonderful and obedient parents along with my little brother were going off to Africa for three years. My family is already small, but my close family relatives don’t even live in Virginia (excluding my mother’s parents who are greatly ill and extremely busy with work and medical appointments). It has definitely been a struggle for me to get rid of this feeling of loneliness, of course, but I didn’t realize how bad and big of a problem it has been in my life as well as many of your hearts that have already encountered the same pain.

I’ve tried everything, so I thought. I tried to “cure” my loneliness. I tried dating. I’ve tried making new friends through taking on new jobs or adding more classes. I even looked into getting a puppy. Some of us do find a cure for our loneliness though, but then it just circles back around to us in another way. Coming to terms with this struggle for myself has meant finally understanding lonely times are just going to occur on this journey. Charles Spurgeon says, “No believer traverses all the road to heaven in company. There must be lonely spots here and there, though the greater part of our heavenward pilgrimage is made cheerful by the society of fellow travelers. Christ’s sheep love to go in flocks. We take sweet counsel together and walk to the House of God in company. Yet somewhere or other on the road, every Christian will find narrow paths and close places where pilgrims must march in single file.”

This is the kind of loneliness that us as believers experience. At times we will walk “single file”, but we are still in the company of other believers! But can you imagine loneliness apart from Jesus? I shudder at the thought of such a desperate place. God is much stronger than any loneliness we will ever face. He made us this promise in Hebrews 13:5, “I will never leave you or forsake you”. As I continued through in my study, I learned that this English translation does not do the original just or show us the full weight of this verse. Rewritten in its full original language intended, it goes like this: “I will not, I will not, I will not let you down, leave you in a lurch, leave you destitute, leave you in straits or helpless, or abandon you”.

We may struggle with times of loneliness, but this promise always holds, as we’re lonely but never forsaken by God.

I know I shouldn’t have favorites, but my favorite disciple to learn about and study is Paul. Growing up, I wanted to be a missionary and a teacher, ironically, during this time of my passion for those two things I had been studying all about Paul and his books of the Bible. While I’m studying loneliness, I can’t help but to think about the loneliness he experienced in a Roman prison cell. In those ancient jails, there was no modern-day cure for his loneliness, but as a follower of Jesus, Paul had what he needed, the promise of God’s faithfulness. Paul had multiple reasons to feel lonely: his living conditions were unpleasant- he was imprisoned in Rome, winter was approaching (cold weather and dark days), he’d been abandoned by his friends, he missed his friend and ministry partner, and he knew death was close (in his case, execution).

Paul was a smart man of God. He became proactive and took healthy action to treat his loneliness. Paul asked for the visits of godly and trusted friends, physical comfort from the cold, his books to keep his mind occupied (these would not have been Scripture but additional teaching), his old copies of the Old Testament, he genuinely forgave those who had abandoned him, he reaffirmed that his strength came from the never-forsaking presence of God, he kept his hope secure in Jesus Christ (his Savior), he kept his worship focused on the glory of God, and he turned his thoughts away from himself and onto the welfare of his friends.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

Some good reassurance scripture: Genesis 2:18, Psalms 68:6, Matthew 28:20, Ecclesiastes 4:10-11

Something interesting to think about is that the average American today probably meets as many people in one year as the average person did in a lifetime 100 years ago. Yet we’re far lonelier. Why?

Several recent surveys suggest that lonely people, especially teenagers, reach out through their social networks, desperately looking for someone who cares. We continue to CRAVE personal interactions—perhaps more so because we have electronic witness to the interactions of others. We as Christians can see this as an opportunity to reach out to disenfranchised, lonely people and show the love of Christ, a man who knows sorrow and pain.

Angela Thomas’ devotional, Stronger, has made me realize that I may become lonely on my journey toward home, but I am not alone. God promised never to leave me. That truth makes all the difference. Even in loneliness, I will not despair; my hope is secure in my Savior.

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy

Jesus tells us- "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Matthew 28:18-20

One of the scariest facts I've heard was one I found in the book Radical, By David Platt. He says, "There are 6,783,421,727 and counting. As I write this chapter, this is the population of the world...approximately one-third of the world is Christian...4.5 billion people who at this moment are separated from God in their sin and (assuming nothing changes) will spend an eternity in hell."

Again, 4.5 billion. He continues saying, "Most of this number live outside of the United States. God has given us His grace to extend His glory not just to areas of need here but to areas of need around the world. Not either here or there, but both here and there."

I am beyond excited to share that in this new chapter of my life, God is leading me to Uganda!! This is not something that I had ever considered myself doing, I was actually against the thought of it for many years. But on this journey, I plan on working with and feeding malnourished children and their care-takers, building the relationships that I value so much with them so that they can see God's light shining through me and want the same. I am not going over to shove "religion" down people's throats like many would say, I am simply going to show them my Savior through my actions and my big heart I have for their people. 

While I am over there I will be staying with my mother, father, and youngest brother (age 13) for six months, who are actually moving there in November to stay for three years. I will also be spending time with Renee and Eileen Bach from Serving His Children (a Non-Profit) and Dacia Newton with Arise Africa. You can check out their websites and blogs at servinghischildren.org, thisismyjoy.org, and thesandysinuganda.blogspot.com. It is not easy for us as a family to give up our comfortable lifestyle in our middle class home, stable jobs, and loving family and friends nearby. But we do these things because we believe our God has shown us great grace in order that He might use us to accomplish the glorious, global, God-exhaulting purpose that has been primary since the beginning of time, and we don't want to settle for anything less than radical abandonment to that purpose.

I just want to tell as many people about the gospel as I can, and you can help me! Share with your friends and church family about what we are doing so that they might pray for us as we embark on this journey. You can also donate to help support me financially while I am over there! 

The Prince of Peace has His comforting hand on my family and me as we continue to get everything ready for our next chapter. And why shouldn't we feel at peace? I believe that all of our hearts should be consumed with making the glory of God known in all nations. He has called me deeper.

sincerely yours,

Katie Sandy