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| Sara Laufer Photography |
But then came the question, "So Katie, you're next right?"
Oh boy.
This question really bothers me. I am sure many of you have been asked this dreadful and awkward question many times before. I understand that I am only an eighteen year old college student and that these people asking me this don't expect me to get married next week (or in a year from now, for that matter). But I am just now noticing that while being too busy searching for that "certain someone", I haven't been living the life of a single woman that God has intended for me to live.
What exactly am I getting at here? My heart aches realising that there have been mission trips and other evangelism opportunities I have chosen not to be a part of, solely for the reason that I didn't want to be away from my boyfriend for a month or two. This is absolutely devastating to me. Not only for the reason that I have done this, but because I know that there are other people out there doing the same thing.
Lately, I've stopped finding myself, self-worth, and fulfilment in Him, only to put my life on hold for that special someone that I have never actually met. But I want to wake up every morning and be excited because I get to spend my day with the God who created the universe, not mope around because I'm not dating anyone. God promises us many wonderful things, but one thing he does not promise is that you will find a husband in college, or even a husband at all.
It pains me even more to realize that I have been pursuing God for all the wrong reasons. My pursuit of Him was in pursuit to find someone else. Maybe, subconsciously, I have had the mindset that God owes me something - like he isn't holding up his side of the deal, like He has given me the desire of a relationship and a marriage, but he isn't following through.
I've been acting like I deserve a relationship. When, in all honesty, I don't. My spiritual life is far from what it should be. My life lacks prayer and worship to the one who has put me on this earth to merely praise Him. If I don't have this as a priority in my life, how can I expect my relationship with someone to last? It cannot grow if it's lacking God. We both need to be strong in the Father to have a relationship that is able to overcome trial and tribulation.
I need to trust that God is in control of my love life. I need to stop looking forward to the future for Mr. Right and embrace what's going on in my life now. There is so much to do before I meet "the one", from self-improvement to evangelism, there are endless opportunities for single women to do God's work.
I know being single can be hard, especially when your Facebook feed looks more like a Pinterest wedding board; but trusting in God’s plan for your life will have huge benefits in the long run and will save you from needless heartbreak along the way. If you find yourself temped to go with a guy you know God wouldn’t approve of, stop and remember it isn’t worth it. Many times that temptation pulls us most when we are lonely and vulnerable (I say this from experience).
“I’d rather have the right God than the wrong man.” –- Christen Rapske
sincerely yours,
Katie
Sandy
